Neurodivergent children communicating in games

The dos and don’ts of chat in online games: Supporting neurodivergent children 

While a neurodivergent child might have unique perspectives on their world, they might also find behaviours of others challenging to navigate. Without instant feedback of people’s reactions like they’d have offline, some neurodivergent children might face additional communication challenges online. 

Moreover, research shows that neurodivergent children are at greater risk than other children when it comes to other online safety issues. These issues include: 

• Being asked to share/giving away personal information; 

• Online bullying from people they know; and 

• Seeing abusive or violent content. 

Here’s what you need to know about neurodivergent children’s experiences online and how you can give your child the support they need to communicate safely. 

What barriers do neurodivergent children face online? 

‘Neurodivergent’ is an umbrella term which encompasses a lot of conditions – from autism and ADHD to dyslexia and dyspraxia. Some barriers that neurodivergent children might face online are outlined below. 

Misunderstanding the intent of others 

Most communication that happens online, and especially in games, is in the form of text or voice chat. This means that your child cannot see the reaction of other users or who other users really are. 

If a stranger claims to be your child’s age and builds a friendship with them, they might take the person at their word. However, as parents, we know there could be negative intentions behind a stranger’s communication. 

Some neurodivergent children may find reading ‘between the lines’ or assessing the trustworthiness of a new person challenging. In this case, they could benefit from concrete examples or ‘stop phrases’ that signals to them that a chat is not as positive as they might think. 

Misusing words/phrases/communication 

Some neurodivergent children might repeat words or phrases online that they heard elsewhere. This might happen because others laughed when the word or phrase was used. However, there might be important context that made it funny that is missing when they use the language. Or people might have laughed but the word/phrase was actually offensive. 

Your child might also misuse voice or text chat in games, either sharing too much information, repeating messages or making jokes that don’t make sense to others. This can sometimes lead to warnings or temporary bans even though your child didn’t realise what they were doing broke the rules. 

Talking about reactions and what they really mean can help (e.g. a laughing emoji could mean something is funny but could also be used in bullying). Practising these interactions with social stories or real-life examples can also help. Additionally, coming up with rules around communication (such as pausing to ask you when saying new phrases) can help.  

Becoming overstimulated by online spaces 

From exciting videos to interactive games, your child’s online space can offer a lot of variety. But for some neurodivergent children, too much of a good thing could lead to them feeling overstimulated. This can lead to emotional dysregulation and the space they enjoy becoming something that upsets them instead. 

A lot of games now have in-built settings for accessibility, which can include altering colours, reducing sound and limiting movement. Your child’s device will also have settings to customise their experience to best support their needs. 

Delays in processing new information 

The digital world is filled with new information coming from all directions. For some neurodivergent children, processing and thinking about that information can be a challenge. Add in the fact that new information can often be false or misleading and the pressures to make quick assumptions, and your child might find their way to believing or spreading misinformation. 

Encouraging your child to slow down and research information can help. Creating a ‘Stop-Think-Search’ rule where they must pause before sharing information, take time to think about how likely it is to be true, and spend time searching online to fact-check can help your child avoid falling into a misinformation trap. 

Dos and don’ts for chat in games 

Use the following dos and don’ts list to set boundaries with your child around safe online communication.  

You can also work together to create your own list that you display where they use devices for communication, such as the lounge near their video games console. 

Dos 

• Talk to friends only 

• Use text chat to give yourself time to think 

• Pause and check your response before sending 

• Keep chats in the game instead of going to other platforms 

• Stay on the topic of the game, not your real life 

Don’ts 

• Don’t share private details about yourself like your last name, your phone number, your username on other platforms, where you live or where you go to school. 

• Don’t repeat words or phrases you’ve heard others say (even if you think it’s funny). 

• Don’t add people to your friends list without asking your parent first. 

• Don’t spam chats with the same message over and over again. 

Top 5 tips for parents 

1. Repeat and review. Often, online safety advice for neurodivergent young people is the same for neurotypical. However, your child might benefit from more regular repetition of the rules and regular reviews of their in-game chats. 

1. Keep things visual. When deciding on rules, some neurodivergent children benefit more from visual instructions. So, write them down together and post them as reminders within the areas they play online games. 

1. Set up parent accounts. Popular games (Roblox, Fortnite, Minecraft) and consoles (PlayStation, Xbox, Switch) have several parental control options to support safe communication and so much more. Take time to set them up! 

1. Talk regularly. Chat with your child about their games online. You don’t always need to focus on safety and rules. Also ask them how their match went, what games they enjoy and who they’re playing with. This helps you to stay on top of their experiences while creating open space for communication. Watch this video for conversation tips. 

1. Set screen time limits and reminders. This can be on the platform itself, but you can also use your home smart speaker to set routines, a tablet to show a visual timer, or give regular verbale reminders as well. These limits can be per game or for all time spent playing games online. 

You can find more guidance for helping your child communicate positively in online games with this guidance created by Roblox and Internet Matters. 

Conclusion 

You know your child best. Test out different strategies for at least a couple of weeks before deciding whether it works and before moving onto something else. Working together and discussing issues openly can make their online safety feel more collaborative when it needs to. 

The UK government’s announcement regarding a social media ban for under-16s also included potential restrictions on communication in games. Keep an eye on what this might mean for your child when more details are released.  

When you have a clearer picture of how these restrictions will impact your child, prepare them by starting conversations early. This can help the transition to a different way of playing their favourite online games feel less jarring.